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Straight
Women, Gay Men: Absolutely Fabulous Friendships
by Laura Rafaty, Robert H. Hopcke, Robert H. Hopche
In an era when men and women are alleged to be
from different planets and unable to communicate with each other,
gay men and straight women seem to communicate almost effortlessly.
Perhaps it's because this is not a relationship undertaken for convenience
or forced by societal pressure but one that is carefully chosen
on the basis of common interests, mutual respect, and real affection.
Or perhaps it's because, freed from the stereotypical male-female
roles, gay men and straight women relate to one another simply as
people. Straight Women, Gay Men celebrates the importance of these
friendships.
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A
Couple of Friends: The Remarkable Friendship Between Straight Women
and Gay Men
by Robert Hopcke, Laura Rafaty
In an era when men and women are supposed to be
from "different planets" and unable to communicate, many
gay men and straight women seem able to connect almost effortlessly.
Perhaps it is because this is not a relationship of convenience
or forced by societal pressure, but a friendship based on common
interests, mutual respect, and real affection.
Whether they are commiserating about love lives or getting the insider's
perspective on what men or women really think, gay men and straight
women often turn to one another for the real scoop. And they can
count on each other to say, "you look fabulous," "thinner,"
or "younger" - whichever is needed. Best-selling author
and psychotherapist Robert Hopcke and Tony-nominated producer Laura
Rafaty combine poignant stories, psychological insight, and commentary
to explore this common but often ignored bond.
Card catalog description
"What makes the friendship between straight women and gay men
so special? And why can these friends of the opposite sex connect
so quickly and communicate so effortlessly? Whether they are commiserating
about love lives or trying to figure out which "team"
a desirable man "plays for," straight women and gay men
can always turn to one another for the straight scoop on the opposite
sex. And they can always count on each other to say, 'you look fabulous,'
'thinner,' or 'younger' - whichever is...
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Fags,
Hags, and Queer Sisters: Gender Dissent and Heterosocial Bonds in
Gay Culture
by Stephen Maddison
Fags, Hags and Queer Sisters is a provocative account
of the importance of women and cross-gender identification in gay
male culture. It offers a range of cultural readings from Tennessee
William's classic A Streetcar Named Desire and Forster's 'gay' novel
Maurice through Pulp Fiction, queer lifestyle magazines, Roseanne,
slash fan fiction, and Jarman's Edward II to Almodovar's camp classic
Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown. Theoretically sophisticated,
yet passionate, accessible and opinionated, Fags, Hags and Queer
Sisters takes issue with many of the sacred cows of contemporary
gay politics, and offers a number of new concepts in lesbian and
gay theory.
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Uncommon
Lives: Gay Men and Straight Women
by Catherine Whitney, Christine Henny
"Dedicated to men and women who wrestle with
tradition, invent new options, take risks and live creatively,"
Whitney's book will be of aid and interest to those men and women
who defy the strictures of approved societal relationships. Whitney
explores a number of unique, loving relationships, which may include
children--not an option for gay men at one time. That is now changing,
and Whitney looks at how the disclosure of homosexuality affects
relationships between gay dads and kids. Further, as she points
out, some gay men realize that though they are more sexually attracted
to men, their primary emotional relationships are with women--a
stance once thought of as exploitation or a comfortable front. It
is this struggle between the physical and emotional that Whitney
emphasizes. Surveying more than 1000 people, she comes to no grand
conclusions yet finds that there are many who must create new ways
to live and love. A subject of wide interest. Highly recommended.
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WHY
GAY GUYS ARE A GIRL'S BEST FRIEND
by Jeff Fessler, Karen Rauch
A collection of illustrations and witty words reveals
the sterling qualities that endear gay men to women through a series
of humorous contrasts of a gay guy's perspective with that of a
straight guy. 35,000 first printing.
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Between
Gay and Straight: Understanding Friendship Across Sexual Orientation
by Lisa M. Tillmann-Healy
It started as a class project-- a young, married,
small-town white woman interviewing a gay acquaintance and his circle
of friends. From this developed a three year exploration of the
complexities of carrying on gay-straight friendships. This reflexive,
thoughtful, and compellingly-written study moves from gay bars to
softball leagues to visits with families and friends, both gay and
straight. During its course, the author develops a growing understanding
of the differences between the two communities, the difficulties
of developing bonds across groups, and the inherent rewards of seeking
(and being) the Other in contemporary society. She explores sexuality,
marriage, lifestyles, and the meanings of friendship, culminating
in a boisterous dissertation defense attended by her new community
of friends. As a study of a gay community, a narrative of personal
development and change, and an exploration of the use of friendship
in conducting research that transforms both participants and researcher,
Tillmann-Healy's work will be compelling reading for scholars, students,
and the broader community.
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Navigating
Differences: Friendships Between Gay and Straight Men
by Jammie Price
This is an excellent and unique resource. It's
written in a kind of silted, academic style--but that's no matter.
Understanding how gay and straight male friends relate to each other,
both in good and bad ways, is a topic you won't find treated much
anywhere else. If you have a good friend who's gay, or a good friend
who's straight, you'll come to appreciate him *much* *much* more
from reading this. I think it makes a great gift, too, after you
come out to someone.
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Gay
Men's Friendships : Invincible Communities
by Peter M. Nardi
Representations of the gay community have come
a long way since the bitchy banter of The Boys in the Band. In Invincible
Communities, Peter M. Nardi makes it clear how powerfully supportive
and influential friends can be in the lives of gay men. "Over
and over again," notes Nardi, "I hear and continue to
be told a central narrative of gay men's lives is that of how important
their friends are to them, how this 'rich network of friends' is
like a family, how sex has been a dimension of their earlier friendships
with some of their friends, and how, for some, their friends mean
more and last longer than do their romantic relationships."
Basing his study on 30 interviews and the results from a questionnaire
survey of 161 gay men, Nardi explores the ways masculinity is organized
and expressed in contemporary America. Interestingly, in discussing
"Friendship as Kinship," Nardi challenges the gay commonplace
that we create "families of choice" through our friendships
with other gay people. Suggesting that the metaphor of friends-as-family
is a "strongly American concept," an adaptation to a conservative
political culture, he points out the "gay-bi boom" has
revalorized the nuclear family unit, albeit with same-sex parents
and often the involvement of interested third parties: donors, ex-partners,
coparents. Part history, part sociology, Nardi's study will interest
psychologists, activists, and students of gay culture.
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Fag
Hag
by Robert Rodi
Secretly in love with an unattainable gay artist
named Peter, Natalie Stathis subtly poisons all Peter's romances
with men until Lloyd Hood, a gay survivalist gun shop owner, enters
Peter's life.
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Loving
Someone Gay
by Don Clark
Mixing anecdotes, stories, philosophy, and advice,
Clark offers readers a fully rewritten 20th-anniverary edition of
his popular guide for gay people and those who want to love and
support them. The new edition brings his readers up to date on the
political stands of lawmakers and the general public attitudes toward
gay issues, which have changed significantly in the last two decades.
In an especially practical and useful chapter, "Professional
Help," teachers and librarians, doctors and nurses, psychotherapists
and counselors, and others are all given practical advice about
how to support gay people in their professional lives. Also, parents,
neighbors, and friends will find Clark's words of advice to be soothing
and useful. Revolutionary when it first appeared and still absolutely
necessary, this book is perhaps the most important work in a gay
studies or self-help collection and is highly recommended for all
libraries.
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Is
He Gay?: For Every Woman Who's Met the Ideal Man and Is Wondering--
Why Hasn't He Tried to Kiss Me?
by Ed Baker, Chris Busick
Once upon a time, a fabulous woman met her ideal
man... He was warm and considerate, openly shared his feelings,
always understood her thoughts, loved to cook, and had a killer
wardrobe. In short, he was perfect. She waited patiently for the
inevitable day when he would sweep her off her feet and kiss her...
And waited...and waited... But all she got was erratic calls and
friendly hugs... The day came when she could wait no longer. What
was the holdup? She was forced to ask herself some really tough
questions. Is he shy? Is my butt too big? Does he have an unspeakable
injury? Is he gay? Sound familiar?
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The
Other Side of the Closet: The Coming-Out Crisis for Straight Spouses
and Families, Revised and Expanded Edition
by Amity Pierce Buxton
Candid, compassionate, authoritativea rich
source of insights, information, and practical guidance
"The
first major work on the topic." Gay Community News "A
much needed comprehensive study of what happens to husbands, wives,
and children during the coming-out crisis.".; The Reverend
Jane E. Vennard, founder Task Force for Spouses of Gays and Lesbians
"The new enlarged edition adds important factors, especially
childrens reactions to a parents coming out. Well-researched
and insightful." Fritz Klein, M.D., author of The Bisexual
Option "Anybody practicing in this area would be well advised
to read this book." Professor Arthur S. Leonard, New
York Law School In two million marriages, one spouse is gay, lesbian,
or bisexual. Having a spouse or parent disclose his or her same-sex
attraction is a shattering experience fraught with pain, confusion,
anger, and a profound loss of self-esteem. Amity Pierce Buxton spotlights
this exploding phenomenon and reports constructive coping strategies
that spouses and children have used to resolve problems of sexual
damage, family breakdown, deception, and homophobia. Illustrated
throughout by riveting personal narratives, this expanded edition
of The Other Side of the Closet traces the familys journey
from initial trauma to eventual transformation. This invaluable
source of information for spouses, families, and professionals is
based on Dr. Buxtons eight years of research, including interviews
with 1,000 straight spouses and children, her own personal experience,
and her counseling work with spouses of gay, lesbian, and bisexual
partners.
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Bisexual
and Gay Husbands: Their Stories, Their Words
by Fred Klein (Editor), Fritz Klein (Editor), Thomas Schwartz (Editor)
Paperback: 505 pages ; Dimensions (in inches):
1.29 x 8.36 x 6.06
Publisher: Haworth Press; 1st edition (January 15, 2002)
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Husbands
Who Love Men
by Arleen H. Alwood, Aileen H. Atwood, Jack Edward Siemsen, Dr.
Aileen H. Atwood
Jan Mittleider, Professor, Physical Education,
College of Southern Idaho
"Aileen Atwood is candid, compelling, compassionate, credible
and courageous as she addresses problems wives and children face
when a husband and father is gay."
Lorrie Wilkes, R.N., MS., JD., Family Law Attorney, Nurse Consultant
for Dartmouth Hitchcock
"Dr.Atwood's book should be read by any woman
who has herself, or someone close to her, experienced the loss of
a husband to another man. Family law attorneys and mediators will
find the book helpful in understanding and resolving family conflict
where a spouse's same sex lover is involved."
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When
Husbands Come Out of the Closet
by J. Gochros
An absolute 'must read' for anyone in the field
of social work or public health or questioning minds interested
in justice and peace of mind about their or their partner's sexuality.
Everyone, especially those who need to begin their search for equality
and reality would benefit from this book. Social Workers need to
get a handle on this book in order to provide the best possible
information on this little talked about subject. This is definitely
in line with the NASW's Code of Ethics. This book gives society
an idea of how to address this complex psychosocial issue with compassion
and justice.
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My
Husband Is Gay: A Woman's Survival Guide
by Carol Grever
After 30 mostly happy years of marriage, Carol
Grever's husband told her that he is gay. As she discovered, the
phenomenon is relatively common, because many gay men believe they
are at economic or social risk if they don't marry. In My Husband
Is Gay: A Woman's Survival Guide, Grever shares her story and those
of 25 other women of varying ages and backgrounds. Although most
of their marriages ended in divorce, some of those who divorced
were successful in preserving a healthy friendship with their husbands.
Grever provides practical guidance (including professional resources
and advice on telling the children) and positive support for women
who suddenly find themselves in a marriage that is not what they
thought.
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